Well anyway, after the movie, we came out and she immediately found the Cylas star. Last night the star was right by the moon which amazed Iwodi. Usually, I don't pay much attention to the star, but for some reason last night it just seemed to YELL at me. The whole drive home I could see the star. I was already crying. I listen to "Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)" when I'm missing you and last night was one of those nights. It just really felt like that star was trying to "speak" to me. And I imagine that if I could hear it, it would have said "MOM, PLEASE DON'T CRY! I'M RIGHT HERE & I'M ALRIGHT. I LOVE AND MISS YOU TOO!"
Some days are easier than others. Some days the pain is so hard to bare. I have so much going through my mind right now. I am still terrified about what the outcome of my breast exam might be. All I know is that I can't leave my daughter here without a mommy. I've lost a son, she lost a brother, and she can't lose her mom. I only hope and pray that everything will be alright.
Cylas, thanks for letting me feel you close last night. I was comforted even though it probably didn't look like it. I love you!!!!