I am still very concerned about the lump I found. I am really hoping that it turns out to be nothing. I don't want to die. I don't want to leave your sister without a mother. She's already been through so much, I don't know what would happen to her. I know that I need to pray and ask God to take care of me, but it's hard trying not to ask him Why he took you when I pray. I know that he has all the answers. I'm holding my head up and trying to make the best of a bad situation. Please watch over me Cylas. Whisper in God's ear and tell him to heal your mommy. Sometimes I think I sound selfish when I pray, does God like selfish people?
You would probably be talking (very little), I wonder what your voice would have sounded like.
You would probably be walking too! Would you walk like your "daddy"? Don't know.
You and your sister would probably be competing for my attention, I would hope not.
Would I have given you your first haircut or continue letting it grow? I know that I was seriously thinking about giving you a mohawk, how cute would that have been? I see it in my head, and I think it would have been very CUTE!!! But of course a haircut like that tends to make a child mean, but not my sweet Cylas.
I can't even begin to imagine what else you would doing. All I know is that I am missing alot. God's so lucky he gets to see you fly and learn how to be angel everyday, but I don't get to see anything.
The star we call Cylas shines bright everynight, but it goes to "bed" early, I try to use that little fact to get your sister in bed early too, but it doesn't work.
Cylas I hope that you know you are loved!! I love you, Sissy loves you, Nan & Pops love you, Uncle Junebug & his family love you! You are missed so much. We talk about you all the time. I hope that you hear us.
Happy 13 months Cylas!!
Love you Always,