Happy 11 months Cylas!!! You're a month older and images of you in my mind are unchanged. Untouched. Your still that handsome little boy I held in my arms and I couldn't believe I had such a wonderful life inside of me for nine months. I often wish that you were still in my belly, at least I would still have you, and you would be safe. I continue to struggle from day to day with my emotions and putting my life back together. I want nothing more than to climb back in bed and not get back out until this dream ends, but I know that it won't. I have a life that I have to live and I will find my normal again, but I don't know when.
Next month, you will be one and it would be your first Christmas, and I don't know how I will make it through. I am holding my head up high trying to tell myself that I can do this. I can get through this holiday season without completely falling apart. I'm trying SO hard Cylas!!! I really am.
I love you with all my heart.
You are my Sunshine
5 years ago