My weekend was pretty much ruined on Saturday. The Ex and your sperm donor is having a new baby, a boy, and he is planning on using "Michael" for the middle name. In his mind it's in honor of you but in reality it's an insult. He left when I was nearing the end of my first trimester. He left to be with another woman. He left me, your sister and you!! Within about two weeks he was telling everyone that he wasn't your dad. I pretty much started resenting him then. I kind of figured if he was that kind of person, none of us needed him in our lives. And I told him that was how I felt. I made it very clear to him that if he wasn't your dad then he didn't need to get excited about your arrival or worry about naming you.
He didn't stay with you in the hospital, both times!! All he did was give me grief because I was at the hospital instead of at home with your sister. I didn't get any support from him at all. HE WAS A JERK!!! And the fact that he wants to use "Michael" for his new son, a baby he also denied is just really heartbreaking to me. I'm filled with resentment and I'm very angry right now. I don't think it's fair that he gets another son. All the hurt has come back and I'm just recalling every mean thing he ever said.
I chose your name. I am the reason there is a Cylas Mychal. And I chose this name without any help from that jerk. I always liked the name Silas but of course I had to be different and spell it differently & then Mychal well that was in honor of your Pops!! His first name is Mike and I wanted to find a way to honor him so that's why I used Mychal (and of course that had to be spelled differently too.)
I guess there really isn't nothing I can do except vent!!! And I can do that. Cylas, I don't consider him your dad and if you were here you wouldn't be a part of his life. I would have raised you alone without any assistance from him. You are my SON!! I love you very much. That will never change.
You are my Sunshine
6 years ago