It's been 10 Months (Tomorrow)

Cylas, it's been 10 long months since I last held you in my arms. It still feels like it all happened yesterday, it's a dream that's neverending. I am so hard on myself for what happened to you. I had to make a decision about your case today and at the time I thought I was doing the right thing but now I feel like I've betrayed you. Instead of working my a$$ off to raise money, I've opted to have the lawyer meet with the Risk Management team at the hospital where you died. I know that I said I wouldn't let this happen, but I don't know if I could handle going any further without going crazy and collaspsing into my grief.

I miss you and love you very much!! You are on my mind all the time. You will always be a part of me and I will carry you in my heart forever.

Mommy