From Earth/To Heaven

This message is traveling from earth to heaven. I've never thought about that before. I know that you must hear all my thoughts and that you must know how much your momma misses you. It never occurred to me though until just now. You must hear my thoughts a million times a day. Thinking about what you are doing. Thinking about what I am missing. Thinking about how MUCH I MISS you. And then, finally wishing that you would just come back.

I am not looking forward to the holidays. But I'll have to try my best to get through them some how. I wish that I could ball up and stay that way for the next 2 or 3 months. But as always, I am thinking about your sister and thinking about how I can't let her down, no matter how I feel. I made some changes to the blog today. I added a new background, it's all wintery (sp?) and since I enjoy the cold weather, I thought it might help. Snow doesn't just happen at Christmas time so there's no need to not want snow. I really like the cold weather!!

I've been reading the Twilight books, I've only bought the first two, but I have been racing to get finished with the first book before the movie comes out. The books keep my mind off of things. I'm not saying that I read to get away from missing you, that will never happen, but reading has helped me relax and I've been able un-stress. Especially with everything that has taken place the last couple of weeks, I needed the distraction I guess.

Cylas, like I've said many times before, it's never going to be ok that you're not here, but I know that somehow and someway I can make it through. I MISS you so much on a daily basis. Sometimes it seems like missing you takes up most of my days since you passed away in January. I try to stay focused on what's ahead for me and your case. I will have to be strong these next few months, and all I can ask is that you stay close to your momma, ok, my little angel. This message is now coming to you in Heaven, and leaving me to gather my thoughts once again.

XOXOXO,
Mommy