8 months today

Cylas, my precious little boy, it's been 8 months since I've seen you and held you in my arms one last time. I still can't believe that your gone, I wish I would wake up from this night mare, I want you back so bad. Your sister misses you, your nana & pops miss you, your uncle & his family miss you. I miss you. I miss having those one on one moments with you when I could talk to you for hours and you would lay in my arms listening to me go on and on about how much I loved you and that I was always going to be here for you. I know that the last four days you were here were not the best, but I wanted to make sure you knew that your mom loved you. I never left your side at the hospital, I stayed when no one else would. Those four days were not easy for me, I cried the whole time!! I didn't like seeing my baby in pain. I didn't like seeing you sick. I didn't like the fact that there was nothing I could do for you. If I could have taken your place I would have. I would have done anything to keep you here. My heart breaks over and over again when I think about what you had to endure while you were in the hospital. You were taken from me and I don't think I'll ever get over that.

Your sister wants you back. She wants to hold you and play with you. We all wonder what you might be doing today if you were still here. I keep thinking that you would be one mean little boy. If you were anything like your sister then I know you would have been mean. You both were so much alike! You had the same temper she had. So I know that I would have my hands full and the sibling rivalry would be full blown.

Loving you always, missing you everyday,

MOMMY