It's that time again

The date today is a very important day. It's the day the tragic World Trade Center's were taken down by planes, with hundreds killed and missing. During this time I didn't even have kids. I was still in college finishing up those final tests and speeches, during the exact time all of this occurred. That day touched everyone because we all suffered the loss of someone and the loss of security that was felt. We personally didn't lose anyone in our family but it definitely made it's way to Cherokee, in one way or another. Today around the world people will hold memorials and services to remember those lost and I guess in a way that is what I am doing by writing about it.

However, it's also that time again when your sister starts talking about you 24-7, and it will last until the 24th, just like always. She must know or have a feeling that your two special dates are coming up. She always starts with "I miss Cylas." And then it goes to "I wish Cylas was here." And a new one that she's said is "I want Cylas back! I want to hold him!" Sometimes if feels as though I have no more words to comfort her and I know that she's hurting and trying to make sense of it all. I want to help her come to an understanding of all of this, but I can't, because I DON'T quite understand it either. I am like her I want you back. I want to hold you and play with you. SO CAN I HELP HER WHEN I AM FEELING THE EXACT SAME WAY!!!! She looks for "your" star every night and blows you a kiss. Her heart is broken though, on cloudy nights when there are no stars. I tell her that you had to go to bed early because God needed you for something special the next day. I know that somehow we can make it through but right now it still remains so HARD. Cylas we just really miss you and continue to love you everyday. I hope that you can feel or see how much we miss you. I know with time our pain will ease, but right now it seems to go on forever! And I wonder if I'll ever be able to think of you and not cry.

Cylas it's time again for all of pain and sadness to take over. All those memories, good and bad, will be come flooding back and overwhelm us once again. I know that I've given up on seeing signs that you are around, but I do ask that you please stay close to your sister, if anyone needs you more than I do, it's her. She doesn't have a understanding of what's going on and she needs to know that even though your gone, your spirit is always near her. So please watch over her and let her know that you are there with her.

XOXOXO,

Mommy