Meet Stripes

About three weeks before Cylas was born, his sister picked out a beanie baby and she said that it was for her baby. We kept it put in the bag from the store and on the day we brought him home from the hospital his tiger was waiting for him in his crib. When Cylas died in January I didn't know what to do with it. I didn't know if I wanted to put it in his casket or keep it. I asked my mom what I should do with it and she was just as confused as I was. Prairie didn't come home until about 12 hours after Cylas died so I had time to think of something. We all went to the funeral home to make the arrangements for our little man and then we came back home. People were coming in and out all evening and I guess at about 5:30 Prairie came home. She was her happy normal self and it just broke my heart to have to tell her what happened to her brother. I let her run around and give hugs to her nan & pops, and to her uncle, then I took her to the bedroom. She didn't want to go to the bedroom because her brother was not back there in his crib.

Once we got the bedroom, I held her on my lap and I told her I had something to tell her. She listened very intently and then I told her that her brother would not be coming home this time. She said "Why?" And I said well as you know he was sick and his little body just couldn't take it anymore. I told her that he had to go home to Jesus. Still again she asked "Why?" By this time I had tears streaming down my cheeks and I told her that he was going to be our special guardian angel and that he would always be with us in our hearts. And then I pulled out his tiger and I told her that her brother wanted her to have to it. I told her that he wanted her to keep it safe for him and that whenever she missed him she could grab that tiger and hug it and Cylas would feel it in Heaven. She took it in her arms and hugged it very tightly!! Then she laid it on her pillow and gave it a kiss.

She sleeps with that tiger every night and has since named him Stripes. She doesn't let anyone touch it and if someone does she screams that's my brothers don't touch it!! I know that somehow that helps her with her pain but I also know that it no way replaces her brother. I just wish there was something I could do to help her understand all of this and right now I can't! I miss Cylas just as much as she does. I wanted to share this story and I hope that someone can find a way to help their living Child deal with losing a sibling.

Sarah T. (Cylas' Mommy)