HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Happy Halloween in Heaven, Cylas!!! I don't know if you celebrate halloween in heaven but if you do I hope you get tons of candy!!!

I can't help but think about what you would have dressed up as. For some reason I keep thinking you would have been the Incredible Hulk!! You would be a rough housing little boy so I think the Hulk would fit you perfectly!!

I wish you could be here to Trick or Treat with your sisters but I know that you are always with us.

Love you!!!
Mommy

OCTOBER 15TH

Today I'm participating!!! Today I remember you!! I will go home and light my candle and just reminisce!!
I will also remember your angel friends and their parents. Since this journey has begun I was feeling like the loniliest person in the world. I didn't understand why I had to suffer such a loss and bear so much grief. No one really understands my feelings and I wouldn't want anyone to go through the same thing. But I have found parents from all over the world who understand my grief. They understand my anger & pain. They love me at my worst and they love me at my best. They remember you and it warms my heart!! I'm not alone in this world of Infant Loss. Even though I have a heart that beats inside of me, it's continually healing. There's a place there that will never ever be filled by any love from another, only yours. That place will always long to feel your hugs and hear those precious words "Mommy I love you!" or "Mommy, you're the best!!" That spot will always be just yours.

So today, I remember my precious, sweet, little angel boy, who I carry in my heart always and send my love to on angel wings!! God Speed, Cylas Mychal!!

Mommy Loves you!!!!!

OCTOBER

October has started off with a blast (as usual)! Emotions running high & everyone anxious about the Fall Season. Our tribe is celebrating a 100 years of our Indian Fair. It's the first year that I've been able to enjoy it without helping your sister with her pagent or even working on her school's float. I've been lazy and just taking it easy. But your Big Sissy said she'll be ready for the pagent's next year so I guess I better enjoy it while I can.

And it doesn't take long to realize that all those Family holidays are coming up and your still missing from those holidays. Halloween is first on the list and even though your not here I still like to think about what you could be for Halloween. I'm pretty sure it would be a Super Hero, maybe Iron Man or Super Man!! And then of course Thanksgiving & Christmas aren't too far behind. I dread Christmas the most. And you know that I do. Your birthday is on the 24th so it kind of makes for a bad Christmas. But we are planning on sending you balloons and having a cake. Just like we always do. You will always be celebrated on your special day!! You are loved and Missed!!!!

Stay close son!!!

Love Mom