30 MONTHS OLD

Yesterday was the day you turned 30 months old. I still remember the day you were born. I still remember the smell of your hair after a bath. I still remember how soft your little feet were. I still remember how it felt to run my fingers through your hair. Even though your not here, those memories still remain fresh in my mind. Those are the things that I never want to forget. And even though it breaks my heart I still remember the day you died. That is the one memory I wish I didn't have.

Cylas you are still loved and missed by your momma. There is still not a day that goes by that I don't wish you were still here. I miss you so much. I admit those sad days are a few and far between but it's the unknown that still gets me. I never know when the waves of sorrow will hit and when they do they shatter my world all over again.

Life here has been moving forward. Your sisters are growing and learning every day. I am moving forward in my life. I have someone new in my life who has managed to make me smile again, the one thing that I never thought would happen. He loves me and likes your sisters. It's still fresh and new but I am happy. I know that there will always be that empty spot in my life, it's the spot that should have been filled with little boy love. The love that only a boy can give his momma. That spot will always be yours.

Cylas, little man, Momma loves you so very much. I hope that you feel that love every day and night while your sitting on that soft fluffy cloud watching over me and your sisters.