
I had fun all weekend. Your sisters enjoyed themselves. I got P's picture take with Santa Clause and it was a bittersweet moment for me. While she was on his lap smiling her beautiful smile, it hit me. I am NEVER going to see you on Santa's lap. I'm NEVER going to see you possibly pull his beard or cry because your scared of him. I felt the tears flow down my cheeks and realized where I was. I knew that I couldn't break down right there in the mall. So I had to pull myself together and tell P how pretty her picture was. I don't think she knew what I was thinking and she didn't ask when she saw what was left of the tears I started to cry. T didn't get her picture made with Santa because her hair was a mess and I was afraid she might cry on him. I'll try her a little later.
Christmas is usually a time for Family pictures and even though I have plans to get the girl's pictures made on Friday, I can't help but think about you and how your not here to be in our family pictures. But I would like to find a way to include you some how. One of my friends and Jack's mommy mentioned something about a white angel bear and your name written out to include in each family picture. Well I like the idea but I don't have an angel bear. But I do have your name carved from wood. I just got it made on Sunday and I love it. SO I might be able to figure something out. I also think it would be cool if I could find someone to age your picture with each birthday that passes. But I've heard and read that it could be hard since you were so young in the pictures that I have of you. If only????
I still need to go shopping for you. You need some Christmas decorations and some flowers. I also want to buy you some new toys. Every boy needs some trucks and bulldozers. Maybe I'll have time to do that this weekend. It would just be easier if you were here. But I know that you must have an awesome Birthday and Christmas in Heaven, it could never compare to what you would have here (but I try).
Love,
Mommy
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