I WAS READING

Cylas on Saturday you will be 22 months old. And as always I am wondering what you would have been like. I read on BBC that this is the age when fears start to develop whether it be monsters or people. I would have loved to be able to tell you that everything would be ok and that there is nothing to be afraid of. I would have loved to pick you up and hold you in my arms each time you got scared. I would have loved to kiss your cheek and tell you over and over that I love you more than you will ever know. But I am not going to get that chance am I? 22 months is a cute age. You would have been talking, speaking funny phrases, & doing all the stuff that boys do. It's hard to think about living the rest of my life without you. I've made it this far but it has not been easy.

Next Saturday will be Halloween and your Big Sissy said you would have been a dinosaur (her pick not mine.) So while I'm taking T and P trick or treating I will be thinking of you and how cute you would have been in your costume. I will miss chasing you around and trying to make you hold my hand. But I know that it would have been fun, regardless.

Miss you!!!!

Mama