This is how the road looks leading up to my house site. It looked alot of worse, but I guess they'll fix it. I can get it paved soon after I move into my new house, but I don't know when that will be. I don't even think our house has been ordered yet. But this is all so very exciting. The only thing I'm dreading is having to buy my furniture. I've been asking people about where the best place is to get furniture. Because I'll have to buy everything, UGH!!! 
For the past three weeks me and other parents have been working feverishly on our float for the annual parade that kicks off our Fair, the first full week in October. I missed Float Prep last week due to your sisters being sick and all, so this week I have alot to do. I am the secretary for the Parent Group and I swear it's like my second job, just without pay. So I am in charge of sending out reminders, getting "forms" signed, and collecting anything else that might need to be collected.
Cylas, I hate rainy days. They remind me of how much I'm missing you. No matter how I try to move forward, memories of you still flood my mind. Each day that passes is a reminder of what I'm missing. Each holiday is a reminder of what I'm missing. Each birthday reminds me of the changes you would have made every year. Every little boy I see, makes me wonder, would Cylas be doing that? They are the constant reminders, letting me know, that you are not here. 
With everything going on, I still remembered your angel-varsary today. It amazes me sometimes. I feel like a much older woman with my memory being so bad and all. But I kind of figure I'm not ever going to forget the worse day in my life. I can't believe it's been 20 months already.
Well, at least that's how I've felt all weekend. Friday did not go good at all. The hospital REFUSED to admit any wrong doing, but they did say you were given an EXCESSIVE amount of IV fluid, but that was about it. They know that we don't have money to fight this and it just pisses me off. I want to fight so hard for you. I want them to admit to more than the IV overload. I want them to pay for what they've done to you. 
Cylas, all I can think about is tomorrow. I don't know what to expect. What will I hear? I have a huge knot in my stomach, my head is hurting, and my heart is racing. I'm trying to keep only positive thoughts in head, but that is a battle within itself.
I was on my way to lunch and I received a text message from your grandma. And even though I have major issues with your so called "dad", your grandma was there for us and I know that she cares about you. Well, anywho, she texts me, telling me that she received an email for the LAWYER and he wants to meet with us ASAP. And of course my first thoughts are is it good or bad? Will there be more waiting or more fighting with the hospital? Will settling our case be enough? Is it time for that dreaded battle on the money? (I have no intention on letting your so called "dad" get his hands on any money received, if we get any at all. So I know that IS something he'll fight tooth and nail for.) He's so pathetic. You didn't matter to him until he realized there could be money involved. 
These pictures were taken on Saturday. They seem to be moving right along with the foundation for the house. Your sister is very excited and I am too!!!! 
Yeah, that's what it is, it's progress. Finally after FIVE years I can say I am getting a house. Of course, your missing from my happiness, but I am finally going to be able to say I have a home for my kids and myself. I wanted my own place for so long and now that it's actually coming together I just feel relief. I plan on having a special spot just for you and the stuff I buy for you. I want to plant a tree in your memory. There are all kinds of wants but as always you are the one that I want. 
