19 MONTH ANGELVARSARY

Saturday was your 19 month angelvarsary!!! It was bittersweet. I thought about you most of the day. Crying only when I was alone or when T was taking a nap. I hope you don't feel like I've replaced you already. T is a blessing in disguise, but she doesn't feel that empty spot in my heart. I think that will forever belong to you. The day you died is still fresh in my memory, it still hurts so very much.

I can't believe I've made it 19 months without you. When you died I honestly thought it couldn't be possible. But I've learned to live from day to day, sometimes minute to minute. And I live for your sisters. I know that they need their momma and I know that I need them. I totally understand why your uncle kept telling me "not to lose control". At the time I just wanted to punch his lights out. But now I understand. Your big sister has had the hardest time and even though it hurts to talk about what happened to you, I don't hold anything back when she asks about what happened to you. She needs to know and it helps us both with the healing process. I know that if I did lose it, I wouldn't be the mother that she needed at that time or today. She's been missing you, so please stay close to her, always!!!!

Missing you always, Loving you Forever!!!

Mom