I have a new worry on my mind. It's a worry that's been lingering for a while, but I've been avoiding the issue. I was doing a self breast exam and I found a lump on my (L) breast. Cancer doesn't run in my family on either side, so I am hopeful that it's nothing. But there is this HUGE part of me that scared out of my mind. Will I leave my daughter without a mother? Since Cylas died I've been more aware of the bad things that can happen. I know that I need to think positive but it's so hard after the year I've had. I've already had the worse thing happen. I don't need anything else on my plate. I dont' need any more bad luck.
I actually found the lump two months ago, but I've been in denial. But with Cylas' 1 year angelvarsary passing and having all my thoughts on him, I've been able to think of other things. I don't want to leave my daughter mother-less. I don't want to die.
If you are reading my blog, please say a prayer for me. Pass this on and have other bloggers pray for me too!! I am so SCARED!!!! I have an appointment for a breast exam in February, but that's 2 weeks away. 2 weeks for my mind to go crazy with all these negative thoughts.
Cylas be with mommy.
Hang in there sweetie!! Thinking of you! Stay Postitive! Cylas is watching over you, have faith!!
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