September 29, 2008

Hello, Baby Boy

Hello to my baby boy! This weekend was a good weekend for me. I thought of you often, but I didn't have any break downs. Sometimes I feel like if I DON'T cry for you, though, then that means I'm am slowly forgetting about you or that I really don't miss you as much as I say I do. But that's not true in any way! I know that you will always be in my HEART and I will always carry those memories of you with me.

Right, now here on this earth, it is getting scary! We've already had to worry about having gas, and then now there is something going on with the finances and stocks. It's slowly starting to get to a scary place and I think that you are so lucky because you don't have to or will never have to worry about all this. You are in Heaven where there is no pain or sorrow, and where there is light, and no darkness ever falls. You are in a peaceful place and as of right now I feel like you are the lucky one. You've already received your reward and now it's up to me to make sure I make it there with you.

Cylas, on a dark day, and I've had alot of those since I've lost you, you seem to brighten up my day. I think about the time that we shared together and I am so grateful to have had that time. Even though I do regret that I will never get to see you grow up, and see you have your own life, I am very happy with the time that we spent together. In that time, I noticed that you had my "ugly" fingers and toes, and that you looked just like your "dad" even though at the time I wasn't sure if he was claiming you or not , you had beautiful dark eyes and of course those CCCUUUUTTTTTEEEEE chubby cheeks! The only mistery feature you had was that dimple on your chin. I never figured out where that come from. No matter how misterious, it only made you cuter!!

Cylas, be close to me and your sister! Keep us safe and let us know that you are close by. We need a visit from you more than you know.

Mommy

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